Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
