I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My cat gives me a boner
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
