She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
