there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
