I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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