i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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