well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
