I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.