Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it

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(313): Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it http://tfl.nu/qght

Replies (4) Good night (1992) Bad night (603)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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(604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma

Replies (34) Good night (2399) Bad night (2788)
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(407): View more from Florida

It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

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(407): It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest. http://tfl.nu/ndz5

Replies (52) Good night (16271) Bad night (1164)
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(954): View more from Florida

You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.

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(954): You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone. http://tfl.nu/c0ys

Replies (33) Good night (4032) Bad night (710)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.

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(401): Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/v546

Replies (27) Good night (710) Bad night (3810)
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(419): View more from Ohio

her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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(419): her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier. http://tfl.nu/ogdc

Replies (88) Good night (7460) Bad night (1425)
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(578): View more from

drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm

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(578): drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm http://tfl.nu/89pn

Replies (14) Good night (1049) Bad night (6241)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.

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(205): I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers. http://tfl.nu/jlqp

Replies (21) Good night (7163) Bad night (1455)
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(360): View more from Washington

Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.

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(360): Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall. http://tfl.nu/7ndl

Replies (3) Good night (3553) Bad night (1404)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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(770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8

Replies (10) Good night (1073) Bad night (2791)
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(765): View more from Indiana

We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?

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(765): We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic? http://tfl.nu/pmld

Replies (15) Good night (1391) Bad night (2775)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.

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(520): Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots. http://tfl.nu/9hrm

Replies (6) Good night (2242) Bad night (1062)
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(847): View more from Illinois

And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.

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(847): And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice. http://tfl.nu/ait7

Replies (11) Good night (806) Bad night (1158)
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(314): View more from Missouri

We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake

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(314): We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake http://tfl.nu/bbs3

Replies (6) Good night (790) Bad night (478)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.

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(773): I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful. http://tfl.nu/5jgt

Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (182)

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