why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize