I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
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I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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