sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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