dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
