I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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