So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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