Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
