Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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