just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
