I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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