mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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