I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
