I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize