Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize