...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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