I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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