My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
