True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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