when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
