i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
