Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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