The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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