He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
