i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
