do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
