1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
they need to just BURY HIM!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
