So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
