Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
