they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
