Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
