You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
