he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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