And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize