So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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