my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
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