As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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