I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
