i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Vodka?
Forever.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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