Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We were destined to go to rehab together
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
