we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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