hotel room ftw
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
