Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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