After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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