i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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