i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
