i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My vagina is very pro this idea
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